I have been trying to formulate my thoughts on what has been happening with the recent accusations of unwanted sexual advances by many in both Hollywood and Washington. The simple response is, of course, hands off, everyone. But, in many ways it's more complicated than that. We are starting to pay the price for the sexual revolution of the 60's. Let's not fool ourselves: we live in a society which is both highly charged sexually and, at the same time, still marked by the strict mores of our Puritan forebears. And perhaps that's part of the problem. Like young teenagers, we relish in testing the waters and putting out our teasers, but when push comes to shove, we quickly withdraw. And that's a rocky road to travel as adults. That said, however, the rule remains clear: hands off, everyone
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Years ago, a student shared with me the day after her junior prom, which I had chaperoned, that she was disgusted that an "old guy"- a waiter of about 40-had stared at her throughout the evening. Her dress had been low cut in the front and backless. "What a pig," she had stormed. Without taking sides, I tried to explain to her that a woman doesn't get to choose who looks at her if she decides to show off her goods. "Well, I only wanted my boyfriend to think I looked sexy," she whined. (Personally, I don't think anyone in high school should look sexy, but the fashion industry and media push hard in the opposite direction.) At any rate, I pointed out to her that it just doesn't work that way, that if she dresses so that her boyfriend will find her sexy, then, obviously others will find her sexy looking, too. Not that that would EVER give anyone the right to touch or speak to her in inappropriate ways. But teens need to learn to establish a line. You may come this far and no further. And they need to do it in the middle of the afternoon, stone, cold sober, while looking in the mirror and deciding who they are and who they want to be. And once you're firm with your line, people usually can tell fairly soon, where your line is. But we're kidding ourselves if we don't admit that often, and in different ways, we give tacit permission to others to walk dangerously close to our line. And that's where it can get hairy. I've been made fun of many times in my life for being a prude, but old fashioned dignity and respect work wonders. That said, this is still a complicated issue, IN SOME WAYS, but in other ways, it remains simple: NO ONE EVER has the right to impose themselves physically or verbally on another regarding their private person. Latest Dresses 2020